Too Many Faces!

I’m at a loss. Between calling my voice mail to get down the snippit of a song that comes to me on my drive to work, trying to advertise my jewelry on Facebook or YouTube or my own website, trying to get my own website up and managed (btw, should it be a jewelry site? A singing site? A parenting site?), putting up videos of my songs on YouTube, reading parenting books to try to build a foundation for a parent-coaching business, signing certificates for young students in my Elementary Peace Program, washing dishes and laundry and Sam’s hair and tomatoes for dinner, scheduling babysitting for school events, scheduling dinners with friends, making jewelry to have something to sell, and therapy, meditation, chiropractic and body work, I can’t barely sit still, let alone thing straight!

I sit down this morning at 9:30am to connect with someone over e-mail on a project I am managing, and there in my inbox is a message from an old high school friend on Facebook. I check it out (only for a second, I swear!), and see the photo album with my jewelry right there on my profile. I remember that I’ve got new jewelry photos (not professional – don’t get me started!), and should put them up in case people want to see them. I put them up, and think, oh yeah – I should check how many more people saw my videos on YouTube today. So I bounce over there (just one more second…). 91 people in 3 weeks with absolutely NO advertising. Not bad. Oh yeah, I should quickly check Statcounter.com to see if anyone’s seen my blog lately (it’s so fast, only takes a second). Nope, no one’s reading, not in the last three days. Bummer. Oh yeah, I really wanted to write a new piece on the books I’m reading right now - Pema Chodron’s book, “Practicing Peace in Times of War,” and Alfie Kohn’s book, “Unconditional Parenting” - at the same time. If I write a piece, maybe more people will read and then I can set up some kind of, you know, fan base, to get my parenting coaching business off the ground. Oh yeah, I should e-mail my contacts about that today. And read more of the book so I can keep adding to my credibility. And oh yeah, didn’t my hairdresser say she wanted to hire me to facilitate a Mothers and Daughters group talk on the topic of respect? I better write out a proposal and send it out. Oh, and make those two necklaces for Sam’s school auction. And call that therapist I have been phone-tagging for two months now. And contribute something meaningful to this world to help inspire us to save our struggling planet....

I could go on. Get the picture? WHO AM I? I am a creative woman, with lots of ideas, no real business sense and not a lot of cash on hand to support all my creativity. I am a mother, desperately trying to keep my son from getting a cold 5 days before my last big work-week of the school year. I am a partner, trying to hold a house together for my man so he can relax after HIS demanding days. And I work as a facilitator, teaching thousands of children in California how to recognize and express their feelings in a healthy way. I am a gardener, singer, songwriter, jewelry maker, councilor, tech team manager (?), wanna-be writer, political activist, social-change purporter, and give me five minutes, I’ll become something else too.

It’s too much! A big part of me wants to move to the mountains of India and turn my life into a simple subsistence existence. Drop out! No wonder it’s taking every ounce of will power I’ve got to keep me from just playing a mindless video game all day. A daunting mountain stands in front of me here, and I feel a cold coming on. What do I dooooooo?

Some would say I should just simplify. I've taken on too much. I should just settle down, get rid of those idealistic and naive dreams of creative expression and wealthy abundance, get a job as an office manager and be done with it. Which would solve some things. But I would also die slowly of missing my calling(s), suppressing my desires and my soul's energy. So I can't do that. But there must be something... Something I can do to keep going along these paths I've chosen, to make something happen here...

(hang with me here while I consult my many years of personal growth experience...)

Yes! I've got it! Folks, today I am going to take a step towards Peace. I’m going to take 15 minutes to write down everything (and I mean everything) that’s on my mind to do, think about, take action on or delegate. And after that, I’m going to prioritize it! Go Wild!! And after that, I’m going to do some things, one by one, until I am satisfied with what I’ve accomplished! And if I do not perish on the couch before 5pm, I’m going to go to a meeting tonight, report on my team’s performance, leave the meeting early and go to a meditation that also happens to be a birthday celebration.

Maybe I’ll even report back to you on how I’ve done. (Don’t spend too much time waiting for that). Good luck to all you multi-career-ists out there. Good luck to all you talented but cash-poor idealists trying to live your dreams. Good luck to me too.

It's now 10:27am. See, that whole thing, including writing this piece, took less than an hour. There's always more time than you think.... Breathe in. Breathe out. Peace out.